I feel I have been changed after attending an amazing training during this weekend,
In this training, I realize a lot about myself.
I feel I had find back myself who someone always hidden in my deep heart.
Beside, I had realized that how can I be a better man who I wish to be..
Before the training,
I always unsatisfied about my works, colleagues, boss and anythings in works..
I am frustrate everyday, complaining everyday, always feel everyone wears mask in reality life so fuck off.
I start to hate life, hate my works, hate everyone who are unfriendly with me.
Becoming quiet and keep silence all the time, keep distance from boss and so on.
Somehow I had forget how to speak out, present, explain my things, work or express myself.
I feel I had lost the ability to speak and express.Hiding deep and deeper in my heart.
I had try to escape myself from work in office and keep planing to do this,do that to leave my working life.
It means that I had totally forgotten what is my passion, my dream, my strength, my confidence, my everything and keep re-size myself smaller smaller and smaller among the people. Just like a supper little puppet walking lost in this busy noisy city.
After the training,
I find out why I'm so far with each other, why I feel fake from others, why I can't just like others have a nice and happy relationship and chitchat topics with boss and certain colleagues.
The answer is I am the one who made this happen due to I never opened myself to people first, I never be showing truly myself to people first. It just like people never be honest or trust you once you are also never be honest or trust to them. It is some kind of reflection of myself. How they did to you just as how you did to them.
Secondly, before this, I feel that is situation made me be like this. I blame situation, blame environment, blame reality world to make me keep quiet or silent. However, I'm wrong. I lost the ability to speak out or express due to myself, due to my stupid inner face and image. I'm not dare to speak out my opinion because I afraid of speaking wrong things or in wrong timing, afraid of being judged, afraid of rejected, afraid of being look stupid when saying wrong things. Actually, it just about that I stupidly care my face. I thought this is the way to keep my confidence since didn't be judge and failed but oppositely it had entirely bring me down, I lost my confidence silently and slowly instead.
Thirdly, I had luckily met all of the mentors, Ben, Joseph, Richie, Alvin and Hasim. All of them are the kind of powerful people in Advertising industry such as GM, ECD, CD or brilliant strategy planner,Draft. They look young, professional, passionate about everything what they did, how they climb until this high level.
They had shown me how to be a great people like them, just like Ben, the way he speak, his concentration of noting down what he listen, learn even though he already be a GM. He is still hardworking, self-learning from the mistakes, and kind to say goodbye to everyone. He is polite and tell us a lot of being better and better.
Keeping on is Joseph, a cute strategy thinker and good guider for me. He is willing to teach us a lot, like what should we think when we have received a brief, guide us how to analysis our thinking to be a key message or ideas, he also teach us how to help each other to interpret our thinking by speaking out anything in our mind instead of just work ourselves separately, brainstorming ourselves lonely. Beside, he had trying to pull me back, encourage me to speak and express more until I realize I'm still creatively functioning in my brain that I had in Uni life. He is as same as SONNY, who our group leader.
Thanks SONNY so much, the one who able might can read me, encourage me, pull me back from the dark corner, making me feel more confident to show, express, approach.
Thanks everyone who's with me in "SHINE" training, from 15 June- 17 June 2012.
I will always remember to be real me, open myself to everyone, set my intention who and what I want to be, make a different since today.
